She feels she owes everyone a eulogy for Mahnoor’s passing away, Sammar writes, “Mahnoor’s relapse was discovered only 2 days before she was due to return to LUMS to continue her studies & while last time she did not shed a single tear, this time she wept inconsolably. Regardless, she was admitted & she fought to her last. A cycle of chemotherapy left her depleted of her immunity & her lung contracted pneumonia. She was admitted to the ICU & then put on ventilators. She survived for 10 days then. Her lungs collapsed first & then organ failure happened & finally, a cardiac arrest took her life. I know that she fought till the end for when my father excused himself when asked to sign the ventilator consent form, I got to spent minutes in private with her. I told her what was happening & that she had to fight a little longer.”
Lying there gasping for breath, she gave me a thumbs up. She fought but then the fight became too much to ask of any human being.
“What can I tell you about Mahnoor? For once I am at a loss for words. She was like that… She could render the gushing of the river to silence. Her laughter was loud, her emotions intense, her personality was extreme. Her charm was her polarity. Her laugh could set birds to flight & her temper could ebb lightening. She was smart & intuitive & before the diagnosis, she knew she had cancer & before reports, she knew she had relapsed. What can I tell you about that girl? She was magic with the frame of a fawn & the strength of 10 men. She fought for what she believed & acquired everything by pursuit & not by privilege.”
She bore the burden of this infliction with grace & dancing at her cousin’s wedding she did not look cancer-stricken.
“She endured the side affects of treatment with ease & confidence. Her goodness & sense showed in her reclusiveness & she was the beloved of God. She was my baby sister… Our little Mahnoor! This day all I hear is white noise & nothing anyone says makes sense. I can only hear the rustle of poplars at Kakul Road & the din-din of cars. But any words of sense I can not register. Sometimes I go to your whatsapp, hoping to catch you like I would when you would not reply. Sometimes I call your name to hear how it sounds to the ear but all I can hear is ringing. I know it will get better. We will learn to endure. Your parents are happy your suffering is over but they miss you. We all miss you. You have been coming to me in my dreams sometimes asking about Shahmeer & sometimes telling me to feed the fish.”
I hope you are not lonely. I hope you have met Abu. And I hope you are together happily forgetting the pains you have both endured.
“But remember us. We are sick with grief. Your parents are sick with grief but they’re trying to be brave like you. You are the bravest person I know. It has been an honor to know you. Meri jaan! Mera bacha! Who used to come to me and talk about the things you could say only on the opioids they gave you for pain relief. When I would tell you the way of the world you would say ‘No Sammy, I want to know what you think. What is your opinion?’ & that made me feel so special. Mahnoor all our childhood flashes in my mind in a vague blur & when I see your friends, I feel your presence amongst them laughing with your mouth open & clapping your hands.”
I wish you could know how the entire world took your story so personally & wept for you.
“I wish you could know how much you are loved. I wish you could tell Shireen that it’s okay. That she is still a hero for giving you her cells. I wish you could tell Daud & Ismail, how brave they are. I wish you could kiss Baba & Ami goodbye. Your Versace noir still lingers in the air. It is a smell we will never forget. I wish you could tell Ami every little thing that bothers you & not bear in silence. I wish you could tell Yousuf that our suicide squad is still intact but most of all, I wish you know how special & beautiful and magical you are. Shahmeer asks about you every single night & he still prays you will get better. I don’t know how to tell him his favorite is gone. I will miss our late night movies & foodpanda. I love you my dearest, darling. You are my child. I wish you could still root for Tender Heart. Your friends come to see you every day & they came to say goodbye, just like we all did. I guess it’s goodbye. You will forever live in our hearts. I wish we meet again someday.”
Mahnoor, wherever you are, I hope you’re happy and peaceful.
“Snuggling with me under the blankets you told me you did not want to die but you have left nothing incomplete. But there is one dream that you dreamt the past 1 year, of a cancer foundation to fund treatment of poor cancer patients and we will see that to completion. I promise we will see that many cancer patients have the privilege that you did. We will never forget. Please meri jaan, don’t ever forget!”
P.S. Don’t forget to say prayers for Mahnoor, Sammar & their family along with every patient & their loved ones who have undergone the terrible trials of Cancer. May their soul rest in peace. Aameeen! #HeartFeltCondolencesFromTheFamilyTheWordsCraft Also, pray for the SHIFA of all other patients who are suffering from any sort of disease & fighting for their life. May Allah bless them with a healthy, happy & long life. Aameeen! #LoveAndPrayersFromTheFamilyTheWordsCraft